You Needed..

You needed two eyes which can look adoringly at you

You needed a body which can wind up with yours and generate pleasure

You needed an always hearing ear on the other side of the phone

You needed an obeying mind and a heart in love with you

Maturity of thoughts was never a preference for you

Rather vulnerability was.

True love was never a desire for you,

Rather availability was.

You preached truth while lying multiple times

You sought loyalty while cheating for years at a time

You wanted this combination, you never wanted ‘me’

You ran after the above, wherever you could see.

Heaven like hell or hell like heaven!.....?

At 1:54 AM, 21 march 2010, When I am supposed to be working on two/three assignments which I know gonna almost kill me by the time their deadline approaches, I am here writing few memories and experiences. and all this just when I had cleared all my stuff from my cluttered messy bed to go to sleep :) Here it goes...

First day for class started with waking up at 7:30 am, getting ready by 8:10 , having breakfast at mess at 8:15 and being seated in classroom at 8:25am for a class that was to begin at 8:45 am. Everything was going smooth. It was hard to believe all the stories that I had read about IIMA  students being forced to make crucial decisions to choose one between food and bath in a hectic morning. How can things go so bad when one can plan time so well, I thought!
Slowly things started going weird here and there.From hardwork intensive first slot end exams to 'being fed up ' and 'wanna b free' sixth slot exams, here is my story of how IIMA treated me.
So, things started happening . Things which are said to be part of the whole IIMA culture. I had a very cute morning schedule to follow. Having water in morning, washing eyes, looking at rising sun, brushing teeth, taking bath and then full breakfast followed by a leisurely walk to class to reach atleast 10 mins before class starts. I called it 'cute' because that what it seems to me now- a cute, peaceful , silly morning that can happen only in dreams !!:P
30 minutes of morning routine has now slowly crunched to 300 seconds of dream-walk (or better known as run) to class. 300 secs- When you wake/ stand up in half sleep, no other decision can be made because class HAS to be attended, so you first pick casemats, wear slippers, find lock & key and then think what else can be managed now, which includes brushing, bathing, picking breakfast on way to class, combing hair etc. Usually only one of these can be managed in those 300 secs and that too if you are lucky to be a good runner.  I think I can run pretty fast but with HEAVY casemats , I preferred relying on borrowing the heaviest casemat from some other section dormmate and keeping the bag light enough to climb 40 stairs : 2 at a time.
As many of my non-IIMA friends would have heard me describing this whole life at IIMA as a flip-flop between 'Heaven like Hell' and 'Hell like heaven', I really found time only for one of these at a time: dancing/cribbing, partying/ mugging, movies from DC/sleep, playing/ reading non-curricular stuff etc etc.


mmm.. sleepy..... will continue later. not exactly sleepy, can watch atleast a movie right  now but gotta sleep else tomorrow will be a doomsday.Assignments have to be done. this too shall pass but it'l be a tough fight :D
Good night? what is a night ?? :) apt song would be ' raat ke 12 baje din nikalta hai, subah ke 6 baje raat hoti hai' .. Sayonara for the time being!

some musings : will keep adding now and then

• When you trust someone against everyone else's warnings, then you are either that person's biggest friend or your greatest foe ever. 
• Sometimes in life, some things are always meant to be a mystery.. somethings will always be beyond understanding as to what ,when , where something and then everything went wrong! When your eyes prefer to look at goodness, when heart betrays logic, when even the sixth sense wishes to sense only trust and love, then which sense will ever reveal the true picture?

music is a strange sound

Songs : an inspiration to move ahead in life, a connection holding back to past. So much is happening in life : first year's last and most hectic slot ending in 3 weeks, exchange confirmed, internship beginning in 28 days, need to plan for tom's assignment as well for the stay in a new city for next 2 months, for the new country for 3 months , for what subjects to choose in next year and how to avoid D in a few subjects in first year!!!

And then come some songs which take you back from this so very stuffed present to a past that was seemingly relaxing and true. You don't wanna leave present but can't avoid sinking in past memories. Where and when it is all gonna end, no one knows! and whether this tussle will ever end is still a more questionable thought.

'aawaz do humko hum kho gaye, kab neend se jaage kab so gaye'