Last few days at A

Living on a tree house

With birds as the closest neighbors

My clothes dry on branches

And leaves ruffle with the opening door

Sunlight brightens the room

And moon lights the evening candles

Wind flows through windows

And sways everything along

Wakening of lizards tells summer is here

And small bats sometimes blindly crash

Crows are the roosters for me

And parrots are the colorful band

I raise my hand and catch few leaves

I blow a whistle and puppies I see

The red bricks feel so raw

Just like the untamed animal in me

Who doesn’t know which color it wants

But has possibility of being colored in every color possible

I jump under the shadow of big white balloon

And find my own full moon in it every single night

I take an evening walk at midnight

And pat the purring cat as it passes by

First step on Harvard steps and

you can smell the spring scent coming from the mango tree

The walls stand tall no matter what you are going through

They are there..To bang ur head against when tortured, to lean against when sad

To touch them slowly when amused, to look at them and smile when glad

Room 319 will be a testimony to what all I went through

‘Anu Dogra was here’ is what you’ll see on its walls, mirror and door

I came to this place to find a drop and what I got was a flood

In that flood, I lost a lot and found much more

The chaff got washed away and shining gems are all I am left with

One keeps carrying a sack with years of burden in it

And a flood once in a while is needed to rearrange that weight

Its not easy to see that sack being ripped apart and all belongings being thrown up and down 

To see your ferociously saved knick knacks being lost in a moment

But in the end its right and nothing else matters

So here I am back on the tree house

A place where I smiled frequently , loved passionately,

hated angrily, laughed madly and wondered endlessly

last few days left and God! Why these crows can’t sleep even at midnight??

Master or Slave

Being a master of your life is a path full of self-inflicted restrictions & self caused pain . It is so easier to be a slave because then you can cry as much as you can & blame others for it. But for a master, pain leads not to crying but finding a solution or retreat from the cause of pain. This can mean going through a greater pain at that moment because such are the wonders of human life that so often we fall in love with comfort even if it means comfort of being with the cause of pain.

Master or slave.. sometimes its a matter of choice, sometimes a matter of survival.

You'll be there..always

Sometimes in the form of a tear in eyes
Sometimes as a smile on lips
Sometimes like a heart-burn
and sometimes as an ache of desire
You'll always be there in my life.
'cos I loved you, cos I worshipped you
cos I adored you and cos i missed you so much!
You'll always be there like a b'ful memory,
Which I thought was an awesome truth of my life.
You'll always be there like an ugly lie,
Which God rescued me from at last....

If its my life

Written on way back to Gurgaon from Chd:

If its my life, it has to have a twist (good or bad)
If its my life, a smooth fast highway will come to a dead end
If its my life, the same dead end will force me to look for a waterfall
a waterfall, which will quench my thirst
a thirst , which was slowly killing me while I was engrossed in the thrilling highway ride
so you see, everything will complete the bigger picture in the end
In the end, the puzzle will be solved but.. with  a twist
And thats what is the spice of my life!

You Needed..

You needed two eyes which can look adoringly at you

You needed a body which can wind up with yours and generate pleasure

You needed an always hearing ear on the other side of the phone

You needed an obeying mind and a heart in love with you

Maturity of thoughts was never a preference for you

Rather vulnerability was.

True love was never a desire for you,

Rather availability was.

You preached truth while lying multiple times

You sought loyalty while cheating for years at a time

You wanted this combination, you never wanted ‘me’

You ran after the above, wherever you could see.

Heaven like hell or hell like heaven!.....?

At 1:54 AM, 21 march 2010, When I am supposed to be working on two/three assignments which I know gonna almost kill me by the time their deadline approaches, I am here writing few memories and experiences. and all this just when I had cleared all my stuff from my cluttered messy bed to go to sleep :) Here it goes...

First day for class started with waking up at 7:30 am, getting ready by 8:10 , having breakfast at mess at 8:15 and being seated in classroom at 8:25am for a class that was to begin at 8:45 am. Everything was going smooth. It was hard to believe all the stories that I had read about IIMA  students being forced to make crucial decisions to choose one between food and bath in a hectic morning. How can things go so bad when one can plan time so well, I thought!
Slowly things started going weird here and there.From hardwork intensive first slot end exams to 'being fed up ' and 'wanna b free' sixth slot exams, here is my story of how IIMA treated me.
So, things started happening . Things which are said to be part of the whole IIMA culture. I had a very cute morning schedule to follow. Having water in morning, washing eyes, looking at rising sun, brushing teeth, taking bath and then full breakfast followed by a leisurely walk to class to reach atleast 10 mins before class starts. I called it 'cute' because that what it seems to me now- a cute, peaceful , silly morning that can happen only in dreams !!:P
30 minutes of morning routine has now slowly crunched to 300 seconds of dream-walk (or better known as run) to class. 300 secs- When you wake/ stand up in half sleep, no other decision can be made because class HAS to be attended, so you first pick casemats, wear slippers, find lock & key and then think what else can be managed now, which includes brushing, bathing, picking breakfast on way to class, combing hair etc. Usually only one of these can be managed in those 300 secs and that too if you are lucky to be a good runner.  I think I can run pretty fast but with HEAVY casemats , I preferred relying on borrowing the heaviest casemat from some other section dormmate and keeping the bag light enough to climb 40 stairs : 2 at a time.
As many of my non-IIMA friends would have heard me describing this whole life at IIMA as a flip-flop between 'Heaven like Hell' and 'Hell like heaven', I really found time only for one of these at a time: dancing/cribbing, partying/ mugging, movies from DC/sleep, playing/ reading non-curricular stuff etc etc.


mmm.. sleepy..... will continue later. not exactly sleepy, can watch atleast a movie right  now but gotta sleep else tomorrow will be a doomsday.Assignments have to be done. this too shall pass but it'l be a tough fight :D
Good night? what is a night ?? :) apt song would be ' raat ke 12 baje din nikalta hai, subah ke 6 baje raat hoti hai' .. Sayonara for the time being!

some musings : will keep adding now and then

• When you trust someone against everyone else's warnings, then you are either that person's biggest friend or your greatest foe ever. 
• Sometimes in life, some things are always meant to be a mystery.. somethings will always be beyond understanding as to what ,when , where something and then everything went wrong! When your eyes prefer to look at goodness, when heart betrays logic, when even the sixth sense wishes to sense only trust and love, then which sense will ever reveal the true picture?